{"id":82516,"date":"2026-04-05T00:01:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-05T06:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.opinionpublica.tv\/portada\/?p=82516"},"modified":"2026-04-04T19:19:56","modified_gmt":"2026-04-05T01:19:56","slug":"why-marriage-for-so-many-is-less-appealing-than-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.opinionpublica.tv\/portada\/why-marriage-for-so-many-is-less-appealing-than-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"Why marriage, for so many, is less appealing than ever"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Why<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

After an eight-year relationship ended in 2021, Chloe Bow started imagining what life might look like if she gave up on marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ms. Bow, now 33, of Toronto, spent much of her 20s living with a boyfriend who became her fianc\u00e9. Then, during the pandemic, she realized she was feeling unfulfilled but had settled out of a familiar fear: What if I end up alone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But now, being alone is the goal, she said. Forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t think of one person in a relationship that I would want for myself,\u201d Ms. Bow said. \u201cI\u2019ve done it before and prefer focusing on me and my own needs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No relationships, no marriage. \u201cI don\u2019t see myself budging on this,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The growing number of U.S. singles indicates she\u2019s in good company. As of 2023, the last data available from Pew Research Center, there were about 111 million single adults ages 18 and up in the United States. That was a sizable increase from 70 million in 1990.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is now consensus among researchers that after years of a steady decline in marriage rates the institution has lost its luster for many.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI used to say we didn\u2019t know if marriage was being delayed or foregone,\u201d said Richard Fry, a social and demographic trends researcher at Pew. \u201cI think the evidence is pretty clear now. It\u2019s not just that adults are delaying marriage.\u201d Increasingly, he said, they are dismissing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Pew, the U.S. marriage rate hit a 140-year low in 2019 and has never fully rebounded. A slight rise in the overall marriage rate in the past few years may be attributable to a dip in the divorce rate and longer life spans. \u201cMen are living longer,\u201d Dr. Fry said, which means fewer widows are being pooled into the singles population.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The start of this decade dealt a further, if temporary, blow to the U.S. marriage rate. In 2021, the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University found that the rate of couples marrying was at its lowest since 1971. Since then, it has ticked up and is now back at pre-pandemic levels, said Wendy D. Manning, a co-director.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the federal government has also observed a shift: In December 2025, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that 47 percent of U.S. households were married couples, noting a significant drop from 50 years earlier, when it found that 66 percent of households fit that description.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alternative Paths<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For some, cohabitation is close enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Manning said some couples who lived together felt they were married already and didn\u2019t see a reason to bother with legality. \u201cOr they may have initially thought they\u2019d get married and then they got busy,\u201d she said. \u201cLife got in the way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rachel Skyward, 41, owns a home with her partner in Morrison, Colo. And although the couple has no plans to marry or even get engaged, they have a prenuptial agreement \u201cjust so the legalese is in order\u201d in their common-law state, she said. In the eyes of a Colorado judge, \u201cone could argue we are married,\u201d she said. The prenup secures assets for each of them in the event of a split.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ms. Skyward, who works in finance, is not opposed to marriage, but after a divorce in 2022, \u201cI\u2019m in no hurry to do it again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some women say they would like to marry but have been disappointed by the prospects available to them. Shani Silver, 43, the host of \u201cA Single Serving Podcast\u201d and author of \u201cWhat If We Never Get Married? A Happily Ever Answer,\u201d said her followers tended to be, like her, single, straight women who were brought up believing the milestones of marriage and raising a family would arrive as punctually as the phone bill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But \u201cas millennials, we got to the age where we were promised all these things would happen, and they never did,\u201d said Ms. Silver, who lives in New Orleans. Now, collectively, \u201cwe\u2019re starting to see a future that can be scary because no one has really mapped it out for us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lot of the women she has connected with have been dating unsuccessfully for decades. \u201cIt\u2019s punishing,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because of cultural biases that have put the onus on women to mold themselves into perfect partners, we \u201cworked on ourselves throughout our lives to become the desirable partners we were told to become,\u201d Ms. Silver said. \u201cBut the men didn\u2019t rise along with us. They\u2019ve stagnated. There are imbalances in domestic labor responsibilities, emotional labor responsibilities, in running a household.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She added: \u201cIf you marry a man you\u2019re settling for, I don\u2019t see a lot of relationship longevity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peter McGraw, 55, has never been married, and he acknowledges that women still bear the brunt of the age-old stigma attached to remaining single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI call myself a lifelong bachelor, and it\u2019s \u2018cool,\u2019\u201d he said. \u201c\u2018Lifelong spinster\u2019 doesn\u2019t land the same.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. McGraw said he wished that double standard didn\u2019t exist. \u201cNot that long ago, women couldn\u2019t vote or have a mortgage or a credit card without a man,\u201d he said. \u201cThe world was sort of set up so if you wanted to live outside your father\u2019s house, you needed to marry.\u201d Times have changed: \u201cYou don\u2019t need a man anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That doesn\u2019t mean true equality has arrived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMen were never socialized to view singlehood as a bad thing,\u201d Ms. Silver said. \u201cFor them, it was, \u2018You guys are fine, stay who you are and women will fall into your lap.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. McGraw, a behavioral scientist who teaches at the Leeds School of Business at the University of Colorado, Boulder, said he wasn\u2019t always as eager to make light of his lifelong bachelorhood. But in recent years, he has been finding more reasons to embrace it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA lot of the assumptions we used to make about people were based on their relationship status,\u201d said Dr. McGraw, who lives in Denver and hosts the podcast \u201cSolo: The Single Person\u2019s Guide to a Remarkable Life.\u201d \u201cIf I knew you were single or married, I would feel like I knew a lot about you \u2014 like how you live, your values, your lifestyle. A lot of those assumptions are false now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He is interested in neither cohabitation nor marriage \u2014 mainly because of what he believes marriage has become.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn 1960, when you married your husband or wife, you were not looking for that person to be everything for you,\u201d he said. Now, however, \u201cthe person is also supposed to be your best friend, your personal and professional confidant.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For him, and for much of his largely Generation X audience, that\u2019s too much pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Next Generation<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If millennials like Ms. Silver are succumbing to dating exhaustion and Gen X-ers like Dr. McGraw are reaching the conclusion that modern marital standards are impossible, where does that leave Gen Z? Deeply uncertain, according to Alia Rose Ginevra, a 22-year-old classical singer from Richmond Hill, Ontario.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In 2023, Ms. Ginevra wrote an opinion piece for the University of Toronto\u2019s student newspaper about her generation\u2019s polarities when it comes to marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFrom how I see it, Gen Z \u2014 those born between 1997 and 2012 \u2014 is generally risk-averse,\u201d she wrote. \u201cStudies demonstrate that we are getting our driver\u2019s licenses later in life and that we aren\u2019t engaging in risky behaviors as much as our predecessors. I believe that this aversion to risk will seep into Gen Z delaying or outright avoiding saying \u2018I do.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other hand, she wrote, \u201cthere is also a faction of Gen Z that anticipate marriage for the stability. Based on chats with my friends, I know that we\u2019re already tired of the dating culture of swiping left and right and that we crave real commitment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a recent phone call, Ms. Ginevra said she was among the faction that would like to get married, ideally in her late 20s or early 30s. \u201cBut I\u2019m trying to be content in my singleness, and I\u2019m preparing myself for if that doesn\u2019t happen,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among her friends, both men and women, money is a major concern. Most want the twin bed of their childhood to be well in the rearview by the time they sign a lease or a mortgage with a spouse. But \u201cit\u2019s taking a lot longer for people to settle into financial independence and move out of their parents\u2019 house, myself included,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Manning of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research doesn\u2019t believe the disappointments and deliberations of Ms. Ginevra and the others add up to a cultural movement, or that a Generation \u201cI do not\u201d is in the works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMarriage is still hugely regarded,\u201d she said. Recent dips in the share of people who are married, in her view, can be chalked up to the average age of first marriages continuing to creep up. \u201cI think we value marriage so much that we want to wait until we\u2019re really set,\u201d she added. \u201cWe want to make sure we have all the right resources in place before we begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One-third of all marriages now include at least one spouse who has been married before, she said, which may illustrate the appeal of being married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMost people still want to get married and expect to be married,\u201d Dr. Manning said. \u201cAmericans are still very enthusiastic about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n